


Ghosts

by SP00K



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Canonical Character Death, Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mental Instability, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-15 08:12:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1297729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SP00K/pseuds/SP00K
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It has been three weeks since Mike was killed and Erwin wanders the halls like the man were still at his side.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> I found this old prompt on the [kinkmeme ](http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/3666.html?thread=5455698) and it wouldn't leave me alone: 
> 
>  
> 
> _After Mike dies he doesn't completely disappear, he keeps Irvin in company every day and Levi doesn't really know what to think when he finds Irvin talking to himself one day. Just want to see Irvin living with a ghost and Levi trying to become something Mike used to be for him._

Levi didn’t see it at first. The odd mannerisms and even more withdrawn tendencies he chalked up to Erwin’s way of grieving. Dulled eyes and slow pacing he figured would fade with a bit more time. Besides there were plenty of things to occupy their minds, to try and fill the very large gap that now filled the Corps with Mike’s untimely death. To say it was a shock is an understatement, Mike was like the lovable mascot, the gentle giant. Everyone liked Mike - how could you not. But Erwin took it especially hard. And now Levi is concerned for his commander’s mental stability. 

It has been three weeks since Mike was killed and Erwin wanders the halls like the man were still at his side. The first big indicator for Levi that something was not right was on a typical afternoon when he was walking down a hallway in headquarters and came upon Mike’s closed office. His mind drifted to the tall man and he slowed his steps in quiet contemplation and reverence for the great Squad Leader, but before he fully passed the door he heard a laugh. The low, soft rumble on the other side that was unmistakably Erwin’s and Levi rests his ear right up to the casing to hear better. There was a bit of soft murmuring and then again the warm laugh of his commander, something that had been pointedly missing since the devastating news. Confused and a bit startled, Levi pulls away from the door wondering if maybe someone else was in there with the blonde. But why would they be laughing? And in Mike’s office no less. It all seemed very odd. It was no secret that Mike and Erwin had lunch every day together in either one of their offices and Levi thinks maybe he is just reliving some nice memories. But still it is strange.

From that day on Levi watches Erwin more carefully. He is vigilant to observe when and where Erwin takes his lunch and sure enough it seemed about every other day he was stealing away to Mike’s office. Soft talking and laughter comes from the room every time though there isn’t ever any response. It becomes glaringly obvious there is no one else in there to converse with Erwin other than his own demons. Levi suddenly remembers something odd that Mike told him once, in passing, though it seemed something awfully personal about their commander: _“Erwin doesn’t have room in his heart for more than one person, and that one person fluctuates with his needs.”_ Levi always found Mike’s random bouts of wisdom surfacing at opportune times, this one in particular on the eve of his promotion to Captain. With the hidden meaning still gnawing away at his thoughts, Levi leaves the quiet and unnerving laughter behind Mike’s office door. He briefly contemplates going to Hanji about the whole thing, but fears what would happen if the fragile state of Erwin’s mind were exposed. The man has enough of a reputation as is and god forbid he lose the respect of his troops. It’s not that Levi doesn’t trust Hanji, it’s just that the small man feels some obligation to fix Erwin himself, a prideful and arrogant notion that sits strangely in his gut. No one should see the great Erwin Smith so out of mind. 

Levi doesn't want it to look like he is following Erwin so he waits until he innocently stumbles on him talking to himself. It comes sooner than he would think and it only proves how quickly his mind seems to be unraveling. As before Levi would only find him in hushed tones and behind closed doors, and now the man was talking in his usual voice with this office door wide open. It makes Levi nervous to think he was careless enough to let anyone other than the him hear it. This needs to stop before it gets out of hand. 

“Come on, Mike, I have work to do - not now…”

Levi stops in his tracks just a few steps inside of Erwin’s office where the man riffles around in his desk drawers for something. There is no way Levi misheard that, he clearly said _Mike_.

“I know you are bored...let me get these letters finished and then we can go for a walk.

Finding his wax stamp Erwin pulls up from the desk and freezes when he sees Levi standing there staring at him wide eyed.

“Oh ah, Levi...I didn’t hear you come in.”

Levi would be impressed with how well the man recovered his unease if he weren’t so concerned. The commander sits up straight in his chair and busies himself with melting some wax for sealing his letters.

“Who were you taking to, Erwin?”

“Just mumbling things to myself.”

“You said ‘Mike.’”

“Ah, well I must have been thinking about him.”

“I know you have lunch in his office.”

And now Erwin knows he is caught. He takes a deep breath and sits back in his chair and rubs at his face like a man who hasn’t slept in days. Levi is pretty sure this is the case. And then Erwin looks meaningfully to his right and gives a slight nod and Levi is rethinking his decision to not see Hanji about this.

“The truth is, Levi...well Mike is here. In the room.”

“Erwin, Mike is dead.”

“No, no I know - he knows. But his spirit is still here, he is still with us.”

Levi doesn’t believe in ghosts and spirits, at least not literally anyway. He looks to the left of Erwin where he gazed a minute ago and sees nothing but the empty space. He then pointedly looks around the room in a long sweep before turning his attention back to Erwin.

“There is no one here but us, Erwin. Have you been sleeping?”

“Not really, but that his beside the point.”

Unconvinced, Levi takes in the shadow over Erwin’s face, the puffy dark circles under his faded blue eyes and the sickly pallor of his skin. He looks tortured and Levi realizes just how serious this has gotten. 

“Look, Erwin, I know you and Mike were really close and you have been under a lot of stress lately so if you - uh, ever need to talk you know where to find me…”

“Thank you Levi...and can you keep this between us, Mike doesn't want people to know he’s still around. He also says he will stop diluting your cleaning solution since the smell doesn’t bother him anymore.” 

“Right, yeah - okay. Just wanted to drop off these reports.”

“Thank you.” 

-

But Levi doesn’t wait for Erwin to approach him, he knows the man will never come to him about such a personal matter, so instead the captain takes to spending as much time with the blonde as he can. He is aware he follows Erwin like a shadow, much like Mike had done, but Levi stays to his left side; conscious of the slight tilt of the commander’s head to the right, like a dog cocking his head to hear a bit better. Listen, he says, to Mike. And Mike is a usual topic for them, Erwin says the dead man is apparently perpetually bored since ghosts can’t smell and he refuses to leave his side. Erwin’s right side. It seems to be an outlet for Erwin, having someone to talk to about Mike haunting him, real or imagined Levi isn’t sure. It was like holding on to the secret was just as detrimental as his friends passing. As the weeks go by Levi begins to notice a gradual change back to the commander he once knew, albeit with a deeper sadness.

One night while they were out having a few drinks at the local bar in town after a particularly frustrating council meeting for a denied request for more supplies, Levi and Erwin find themselves the last of the group still out; everyone else retired to the barracks after the first few rounds. Both men are pleasantly buzzed and keeping the slow and steady pace strong in that perfect zone of functioning drunkenness with minimal threat of a hangover. Erwin goes quiet after animatedly reliving his first time attempting sex with a girl and how terrible it was at fifteen. Levi was laughing uncontrollably at Erwin’s embarrassing inability to get it up with said girl until he realized his was the only laughter still ringing out. After a few moments of silence between them and only the clanks and chatter of the fellow bar patrons to occupy the space, Erwin turns to Levi with reddened cheeks that speak of more than just the alcohol.

“Mike was my first time with a guy.” 

Levi almost spits his beer out at that. It was a suspicion they all had in the Corps, but no evidence ever surfaced and neither man denied or accepted the accusation that they were just a bit too close for just being friends. But to hear Erwin actually come out and say it after all of these years was a shock indeed. Levi tries to hide his surprise but knows the alcohol is doing him no favors and just looks encouragingly at Erwin to continue.

“He’s not with us right now…”

“Where does he go?”

“He likes to visit his mom or go mess with Nile and Hanji. Sometimes he says he just floats around among the clouds, looking down on the earth. He says its vast and beautiful - greater than we will ever know.”

“So I take it he is still bored then?”

“He doesn’t come around quite as much…”

Levi’s heart sinks a bit at this, unsure what this will do to Erwin’s progress in finding himself again. But the blonde smiles softly and takes a sip of beer before talking again.

“But that's good I guess, hopefully he is finding a way to move on. I used to think my time was coming soon and he was waiting around to take me with him. But it has been almost a year and I don’t think that’s the case anymore.”

They sit in a companionable silence as the smoky bar gets fuller and rowdier. With a little smirk Levi catches Erwin’s bright blue eyes and leans over as if to tell him a secret and instead asks a question.

“So, Mike was your first guy, huh?”

Erwin laughs and looks like he fondly remembers the experience, much more so than the girl from his school growing up he was talking of earlier anyway.

“Yes and he made me realized why getting it up was such an issue with Jess - she didn’t quite have what he had to offer to put it nicely.”

“Did you just fucking tell me you are gay?”

Erwin laughs brightly into his mug of beer before downing it and slamming the cup to the table.

“Yes, I suppose I did. I’m sure in the underground such relationships are not frowned upon as readily as they are here.”

“No, they are not.”

“Then I hope you will not judge me too harshly as it is something I have no control over.”

“How could I when I lean more towards men myself…”

Levi didn’t really mean to admit it out loud, but finds he isn’t bothered by Erwin knowing what very few know. The smaller man likes to keep his private life just that - private. The blonde smiles knowingly with that infuriating little glint in his eye that Levi loves to hate. Signalling that Erwin is always ten step ahead of everyone.

“Yeah I know.”

“Do you now?”

“Mike smelled it on you when we first brought you in.”

“Damn...Mike really was a freak wasn’t he.”

“You have no idea.”

-

A few more weeks go by and the bond between Erwin and Levi grows deeper than just a mutual trust. Neither really even notices its happening until the tug of desire pulls heavy at Levi in a way he has never experienced before. Levi comes to adore the little things about Erwin that only someone who has spent a significant amount of time around the man would notice. Like the fact that Erwin struggles to keep his hair perfectly parted in it’s usual manner as it’s natural inclination is to fall into his eyes, or how he licks the dried end of his quill every time it runs out of ink, or the way his nose twitches when he reads something particularly interesting in a report or field study, or how he cracks every single bone in his fingers - one joint at a time in a habit he doesn’t even seem to realize he does. Levi wonders if Mike loved these things too. They become inseparable and Levi can’t remember a time he wasn’t at Erwin’s side anymore. Erwin still talks about Mike, though Levi has noticed it is decidedly in the past tense more than as if he were still standing next to him. The blonde says he still comes to him, but mostly at night, though Erwin thinks Mike’s just not showing himself so freely as he used to. Levi still hasn’t figured out if this Mike is a figment of Erwin’s grief or if the man’s ghost is really watching out for the commander. Mike won’t communicate with Levi despite several attempts, Erwin says its because he can’t, but Levi get’s the feeling it because he doesn’t want to. 

-

Another year goes by and Levi inadvertently finds himself pressed up hard against Erwin’s office door, even with the blonde’s dominate arm gone he easily holds the smaller man in place as his mouth finds every sensitive spot on Levi’s neck. Levi gasps and wraps his legs around the commander’s hips to try and hold up some of his weight. The captain is surprised, but he can’t say he isn’t please beyond words, having wanted Erwin for a long time in this manner but always too afraid to overstep Mike’s place. The blonde seems to read his mind as he jerks his hips up into Levi to elicit a moan from those thin lips and murmurs into the red love bites he leaves in Levi’s neck.

“I have been called to the Capitol tomorrow and I don’t know why. I will try to meet with Pixis though and with you going off to keep Eren safe with Hanji and the others I really can’t say what is going to happen.”

Erwin slows down for a moment, as though catching his breath or collecting his thoughts. He kisses Levi sweetly under the jaw where a bruise is already forming before continuing. 

“I don’t know how this is going to play out, Levi, and I couldn’t leave without you knowing exactly how I feel. I don’t want to haunt you like Mike haunts me.”

Levi runs his fingers through the thick blonde hair, purposefully messing the style up before yanking back and forcing Erwin to look up at him. There are so many emotion lighting the blue eyes - fear, love, need, hunger, excitement, devotion, trust - and it makes Levi smile.

“God, Erwin, you have the most fucked up timing.”

“I know, I am sorry - I just wasn’t ready until now.”

“Just shut up and fuck me already.”

Erwin laughs and pulls Levi from the wall with his hand beneath his ass, which causes the man to yelp and latch on tighter to the blonde as he swings them further into the room. The commander gets Levi to the desk where he sits him down and they immediately start going for each others clothing. They are both in casual clothes so the process is mercifully quick as button ups and neck adornments and undershirts and belts and shoes are tossed all over Erwin’s floor. They attempt to tackle each others pants, but their needy, fumbling fingers get in the way and they end up undoing their own for sanity's sake. They have two seconds to ogle each other, naked and hard and waiting for this for so long. Erwin is all Levi dreamed he would be, strong and powerful yet still more on the thin side with a bit of a bubble butt and a thick cock that compliments his stature perfectly. The blonde seems to enjoy the view of Levi sitting on his desk on full display with legs spread wide and long, skinny dick in hand, every exposed part of his flesh limber and agile like a runners body. He must be the polar opposite of Mike, but the dangerous thought is ripped from his mind as Erwin crashes their lips together with nothing short of desperation. He forces Levi onto his back as he hunches down to get his tongue as far down the smaller man’s throat as he can. Levi groans and wraps his legs around those slim hips again as they rut against one another like a couple virgins. When Erwin finally releases their kiss swollen lips its to issue a breathy request.

“Top drawer on your right hand side there is oil, can you grab it?”

Blindly Levi starts rooting around in the drawer until he feels the little vial of oil and holds it out to Erwin. Since he is now one handed the blonde sadly has to let go of Levi briefly and uses his teeth to pull out the stopper before putting the little glass bottle into his mouth and pouring a puddle in the palm of his hand before spitting the container to the floor. Levi looks on in interest at the crude way the man has become efficient with his missing limb and licks his lips when Erwin applies the oil to his cock, making him glisten and giving off a warm, pleasant scent. Then Erwin looks up with a sheepish grin and Levi bites his bottom lip when he sees his commander acting shy.

“Do you think you can hold your legs open? It’s hard with one hand…”

Levi gets what Erwin is asking and lays a bit more on his back onto the desk and scoots so his ass is hanging off the edge and then grabs a hold of his knees and spreads himself out wide for Erwin’s view, cock and balls, and pink little hole on show. Erwin curses under his breath before dropping to his knees in front of his desk and getting his mouth on everything Levi offers him. Levi cries out and has to dig his fingers into his thighs to keep from squirming off the desk as the warm mouth suckles and licks across his sac and inner thighs and down his taint to tease his hole briefly. But the blonde replaces his mouth with his oiled fingers and begins to quickly open Levi up. It is obvious he has little practice at doing this with his left hand, but Levi could careless when a second finger is added and the stretch feels so good. Erwin kisses Levi’s thighs and the base of his cock as he works the small man open over his desk. By the time four fingers are added Levi is a panting and cursing mess, crescent indents from his own nails mark his creamy legs and he starts threatening Erwin to fuck him.

Finally after finding Levi’s prostate and mercilessly attacking it for a few minutes, Erwin too is teased out and his cock hangs heavy and neglected between his thighs. The commander gets back to his feet and tugs Levi’s legs around his waist as he lines up his erection with the slick and loose hole. Erwin slides right in, Levi easily taking the swollen head of his prick after so much waiting and pulls home in one straight go that has them both moaning. Once fully sheathed, Erwin leans down to capture Levi’s lips in a brutal dance of tongue and teeth until the smaller man whines and kicks at his back to get his ass to move. Erwin chuckles but complies and pulls out to slam back home hard enough to jolt Levi’s head over the other side of the desk. Levi scratches at his back and into his blonde hair and hangs on for dear life as Erwin sets up a brutal pace, filling his ass to the breaking point and slapping his balls against his hips in a lewd rhythm. It’s rough and needy and desperate and exactly what both men have needed for so long. Levi is vocal, moaning and gasping his pleasure freely with every new thrust and every brush of his prostate. It doesn’t last long, it can’t with the way things have been. Precum dribbles messily onto Levi’s stomach and he uses it to start pumping his own cock in time to Erwin’s punishing hips. Erwin drinks in the sight of Levi jerking himself off and it makes him double his efforts. When Levi starts thrashing his head back and forth Erwin knows he is close and starts whispering heated words of encouragement into his ear, loving the way it makes him squirm and groan.

Finally, with one last strike to his sweet spot, Levi loses it and cums all over his hand and belly and even a little on the desk. He clamps up so tight, seemingly taken by surprise from the orgasm despite being on the brink now for so long. When he climaxes, Levi’s ass flutters and tightens so wonderfully it takes only another thrust before Erwin finds his release with a shaky sigh before dropping down on top of Levi, his one arm just too tired to hold him up any longer. Gently Erwin pulls out of Levi as they catch their breath, his cum seeping from the smaller man’s asshole and down the side of the desk in a grotesque display of love. Levi whines about the filth they are covered in, but does nothing more than pull Erwin closer to him as they awkwardly cuddle on top of the desk 

“You better come back to me, Erwin.”

“I will try, I promise.”

“And tell your ghost not to perv on us having sex.” 

“Mike just said that it took us long enough…” 

After that Erwin said Mike’s spirit never came back to him. He was upset at first, fearing he angered him by moving on to be with Levi, but he knows that’s not true. Mike was never the jealous type and would be furious if Erwin stayed alone for the rest of his life. Levi and Erwin both hope he has finally found his peace.

**Author's Note:**

> So do you think Mike’s ghost was real or a figment of Erwin’s grieving psyche?


End file.
